Just thoughts of the week

Hey All,

I twisted or sprained or jarred or torn somthing in my knee playing dodgeball yesterday, so I missed the first day of classes and my friends are going to watch Shutter Island at the IMAX without me (my idea and I can't even go!!).

It seems like my friends are having all these amazing cultural revelations and learning what it means to be American, and I've gotten a bit of that, but most of my experience so far has been party party party!!! I am so tired of goonbags (aka boxed wine) i don't know what to do! Some event goes on just about every night and its everything from bath parties to circus parties, to going to pubs, bars, clubs, hanging out behind G Tower, you name it, there's alcohol involved. The most interesting thing that I've found in this respect is that it is embraced. The college (residential college) buys alchohol for the parties. We can have open alcohol on the grounds and for formal dinners they serve beer and wine. With the drinking age at 18 and most people being 18 or older when starting uni, it's just not that huge a deal.

So far, one of the most valuable experiences that I'm having is just kicking it with white people. With all the alchohol and spending most of your free time with the people you actually live with, the residential life is like the frats meets freshman floor. I like it. And actually, now that I think about it, this is the first time in my life that I've been around a lot of white people for an extended period of time without being overly aware of my race, which is something to be greatly appreciated. In fact, pretty much the only time I'm aware that I'm black in the racial sense is when I'm around other black (non-American) people or when I'm listening to rap or hip hop with other people. Not even when the subject of conversation is my hair!! (lol) And even then, it's not a racial thing, really. Today this white guy came up to me and told me that I looked like I was from Zimbabwe. I didn't really know how to take that, (he's from Zimbabwe), but the first thing I thought was how insane it would be if this white African guy was the closest I would ever come to discovering my African heritage. uh, i think that was just a sidenote.

Anyway, back to what I was talking about. Interestingly enough, even around white Americans I don't really get that feeling of being racially black, which makes me wonder what it is that makes me feel that way at all. Does my physical distance from the US bring about a sort of emotional or cultural distance from being a black American? Have I been justified in feeling black in the racial sense previously? Why do I feel black at home? And not feeling black while away from home makes me wonder if, while home, do I feel black, as a result of nature, or do I feel blackened, as a result of history and heritage (for better or for worse)?