Hey All,
I twisted or sprained or jarred or torn somthing in my knee playing dodgeball yesterday, so I missed the first day of classes and my friends are going to watch Shutter Island at the IMAX without me (my idea and I can't even go!!).
It seems like my friends are having all these amazing cultural revelations and learning what it means to be American, and I've gotten a bit of that, but most of my experience so far has been party party party!!! I am so tired of goonbags (aka boxed wine) i don't know what to do! Some event goes on just about every night and its everything from bath parties to circus parties, to going to pubs, bars, clubs, hanging out behind G Tower, you name it, there's alcohol involved. The most interesting thing that I've found in this respect is that it is embraced. The college (residential college) buys alchohol for the parties. We can have open alcohol on the grounds and for formal dinners they serve beer and wine. With the drinking age at 18 and most people being 18 or older when starting uni, it's just not that huge a deal.
So far, one of the most valuable experiences that I'm having is just kicking it with white people. With all the alchohol and spending most of your free time with the people you actually live with, the residential life is like the frats meets freshman floor. I like it. And actually, now that I think about it, this is the first time in my life that I've been around a lot of white people for an extended period of time without being overly aware of my race, which is something to be greatly appreciated. In fact, pretty much the only time I'm aware that I'm black in the racial sense is when I'm around other black (non-American) people or when I'm listening to rap or hip hop with other people. Not even when the subject of conversation is my hair!! (lol) And even then, it's not a racial thing, really. Today this white guy came up to me and told me that I looked like I was from Zimbabwe. I didn't really know how to take that, (he's from Zimbabwe), but the first thing I thought was how insane it would be if this white African guy was the closest I would ever come to discovering my African heritage. uh, i think that was just a sidenote.
Anyway, back to what I was talking about. Interestingly enough, even around white Americans I don't really get that feeling of being racially black, which makes me wonder what it is that makes me feel that way at all. Does my physical distance from the US bring about a sort of emotional or cultural distance from being a black American? Have I been justified in feeling black in the racial sense previously? Why do I feel black at home? And not feeling black while away from home makes me wonder if, while home, do I feel black, as a result of nature, or do I feel blackened, as a result of history and heritage (for better or for worse)?
Sunday, February 28, 2010
Saturday, February 20, 2010
General Update
Okay guys. Sorry I haven’t written since I’ve been in Oz, but between settling in, meeting people, doing touristy stuff, and trying to get my phone/internet set up, blogging has been sort of on hold. But here I am now!
On the plane, I met this guy who goes to UQ; he was finishing up his vacation. He was really nice and told me about the city and we talked just about life and stuff. The plane ride just from LA to Brisbane was about 15 hours long, but it went by much faster than I thought. Between talking to this guy, James, all the music and movies on the plane, and sleeping, I’d say it was as pleasant of an experience as flying nonstop over the Pacific Ocean for half a day could be. Unless I was in first class of course. (Take Back Sunday and the bassist that plays for Red Hot Chili Peppers were on the flight, which was cool.)
Anyway, so being here so far has been fascinating. The place where I live reminds me of an American summer camp. There are nine towers in my college (that is, residential college) and four people on each floor. I share a bathroom with two guys (and another girl), something I haven’t done since I was like, twelve, but it’s cool though. No embarrassing run-ins (yet!) So yeah, being like summer camp. There’s no air conditioning in the towers and everyone has two sets of windows that pretty much stay open all the time, but there are no screens on the windows, so bugs often fly in. Oh and each floor has these old-fashioned speakers like they have in the stereotypical summer camp to make announcements for the whole college to hear. And we have set meal times, at roughly 8am, noon, and 6pm. So I’d say it’s quite like summer camp.
Also, because there are no fraternities here and because most of the 38,000 UQ students are commuters, the college is more than just a place to sleep. It’s kind of like your frat or your family. Everything on campus pretty much shuts down after most classes are over and the commuters go home, so the college is pretty much all of your on-campus social life. I think of it as the typical freshman-floor mindset, where you don’t know anyone else so you hang around others who live with you. And there is apparently some sort of hazing process that goes on. But as I understand it, it’s all in fun and definitely not like being hazed in America. But I heard some stories about making the freshers (first years) take shots at night then get up at 5am and go running. Ha. I’d rather be deported ;o)
If you can’t tell, I’m not complaining, I think it’s amazing here. I’m sure that if I had known that I’d be in this type of environment, I would have most certainly chosen somewhere else. I think it’s me speaking it into existence every day that I’m glad to be here and I like this type of atmosphere There are trees everywhere, the foliage is soooo green. It rains randomly, which is really nice. We’re surrounded on three sides by the river, and it seems that every time I’m feeling hot and muggy and sticky and sweaty, either a really wonderful breeze or a few moments of rainfall seem to come at the right moment. And the smells!!! When my window is open, on the breeze I catch a very distinct, pleasant, flowery scent, almost like honeysuckle, but I don't think that's it. I'll find out and let you know.
We went into the city yesterday and the day before. Brisbane is very hilly and the roads are very curvy, which makes for an interesting bus ride. The buildings tend to be very colorful and there’s a point outside of the city called Mt-Cootha where you can see the entire city and it’s pretty beautiful. Unfortunately I don’t have my camera at the moment because I inadvertently left it in St. Louis :) So everybody make sure that Erica sends it to me!! I pet/fed some baby kangaroos. They are so cute and sweet!!! I do have pics, just gotta wait for people to put them up on Facebook.
Oh yeah, I met another guy named Trent, from central Queensland. He told me he likes rap and hip hop and apparently thinks all Americans do or should listen to R.Kelly. lol.
I wanted to just catch you up on some of the basics of life in Australia but I have more thoughtful things to write about later on, like my apparent lack of an "American" accent, US imperialism, smh, and having an identity that is not used to identify me. HA!
Well, it’s lunch time, they just said over the loudspeakers.
Cheers!
On the plane, I met this guy who goes to UQ; he was finishing up his vacation. He was really nice and told me about the city and we talked just about life and stuff. The plane ride just from LA to Brisbane was about 15 hours long, but it went by much faster than I thought. Between talking to this guy, James, all the music and movies on the plane, and sleeping, I’d say it was as pleasant of an experience as flying nonstop over the Pacific Ocean for half a day could be. Unless I was in first class of course. (Take Back Sunday and the bassist that plays for Red Hot Chili Peppers were on the flight, which was cool.)
Anyway, so being here so far has been fascinating. The place where I live reminds me of an American summer camp. There are nine towers in my college (that is, residential college) and four people on each floor. I share a bathroom with two guys (and another girl), something I haven’t done since I was like, twelve, but it’s cool though. No embarrassing run-ins (yet!) So yeah, being like summer camp. There’s no air conditioning in the towers and everyone has two sets of windows that pretty much stay open all the time, but there are no screens on the windows, so bugs often fly in. Oh and each floor has these old-fashioned speakers like they have in the stereotypical summer camp to make announcements for the whole college to hear. And we have set meal times, at roughly 8am, noon, and 6pm. So I’d say it’s quite like summer camp.
Also, because there are no fraternities here and because most of the 38,000 UQ students are commuters, the college is more than just a place to sleep. It’s kind of like your frat or your family. Everything on campus pretty much shuts down after most classes are over and the commuters go home, so the college is pretty much all of your on-campus social life. I think of it as the typical freshman-floor mindset, where you don’t know anyone else so you hang around others who live with you. And there is apparently some sort of hazing process that goes on. But as I understand it, it’s all in fun and definitely not like being hazed in America. But I heard some stories about making the freshers (first years) take shots at night then get up at 5am and go running. Ha. I’d rather be deported ;o)
If you can’t tell, I’m not complaining, I think it’s amazing here. I’m sure that if I had known that I’d be in this type of environment, I would have most certainly chosen somewhere else. I think it’s me speaking it into existence every day that I’m glad to be here and I like this type of atmosphere There are trees everywhere, the foliage is soooo green. It rains randomly, which is really nice. We’re surrounded on three sides by the river, and it seems that every time I’m feeling hot and muggy and sticky and sweaty, either a really wonderful breeze or a few moments of rainfall seem to come at the right moment. And the smells!!! When my window is open, on the breeze I catch a very distinct, pleasant, flowery scent, almost like honeysuckle, but I don't think that's it. I'll find out and let you know.
We went into the city yesterday and the day before. Brisbane is very hilly and the roads are very curvy, which makes for an interesting bus ride. The buildings tend to be very colorful and there’s a point outside of the city called Mt-Cootha where you can see the entire city and it’s pretty beautiful. Unfortunately I don’t have my camera at the moment because I inadvertently left it in St. Louis :) So everybody make sure that Erica sends it to me!! I pet/fed some baby kangaroos. They are so cute and sweet!!! I do have pics, just gotta wait for people to put them up on Facebook.
Oh yeah, I met another guy named Trent, from central Queensland. He told me he likes rap and hip hop and apparently thinks all Americans do or should listen to R.Kelly. lol.
I wanted to just catch you up on some of the basics of life in Australia but I have more thoughtful things to write about later on, like my apparent lack of an "American" accent, US imperialism, smh, and having an identity that is not used to identify me. HA!
Well, it’s lunch time, they just said over the loudspeakers.
Cheers!
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
Fourth Thursday*
I read Overdue Response, then I read 10. http://4thursday.blogspot.com/
And honestly, for the sake of the black community, black women need black men to help define their self-worth.
I will be the first female to admit that this is a man's world and the great decrease of fathers in the home, being real men, is a major factor in a lot of the problems that black Americans face today. Putting aside all the crap about independent women and that there's nothing a man can do for a woman that a woman can't do foer herself--the self-worth of a black woman is always, either directly or indirectly, affected by how valuable she is to the black men in her life. From married women who are treated like queens to married women who are being cheated on or abused, from single ladies looking for the right man to teenage girls looking for a replacement daddy, to video vixens who allow themselves to be degraded to a five-star bitch or a lollipop licker because it also comes with the label sexy, beautiful, and desirable, the black woman is innately affected to some extent by the way that her black men view her.
No doubt that some women who have been so hurt by men that they have resolved to live the life of an "independent woman" feel such strong sentiments due to the fact that they, or female friends and relatives, are suffering the most from a lack of positive black male influence in their lives. I honestly can't think of one sane black woman who could get a man to wine and dine her, take care of her, and treat her like a queen, then turn around and decide, for no apparent reason, that she doesn't want or need him. Not to say that women out there don't exist, but they're crazy! Thus, I think the 'independent woman' ideology stems from a need to compensate for where black males are lacking.
I would even dare say that many black women don't like the idea of black men being with non-black women because it's almost like we've lost whatever it is that makes us special to the black man, or else he's lost whatever it is that makes him realize the unique beauty and richness that a black woman/family has to offer. Then again, maybe that's just me...
This is all coming from a young black woman who has a nuclear-type family household and still believes in chivalry and letting a man be a man, (as long as he's an honest, faithful, good man), and be the head of his household. My problem is that not enough young black men are stepping up to the challenge and willing to take on the hard work and responsibility necessary to run a household, or do not even get the chance due to the system being very set up for the failure of impoverished black boys from an early age. And the most accessible role models for these fellas are rappers who call women bitches and hos and degrade them to sex objects. And EVERYBODY, not just men, not just women, who are responsible.
However, as I am willing to admit that this is truly a man's world and men were created to be providers and protectors and women weren't meant to be without men, I can say that yes, there is a vicious cycle involving gender role expectations, for which both men and women share the blame, but at the end of the day, if all black men would love and respect themselves, black women, and the black community at large enough to do whatever was necessary to make an honest living, keep themselves AND EACH OTHER out of jails and prisons, and only support public figures that create a positive image for non-blacks and send a positive message to black youth, we would be in a much better situation, I'm sure.
I think this post is stamped as having been posted around 1am, but it's actually like 5 am right now, so my thoughts above aren't fully developed, so I prolly made some claims that I didn't really back up...sorry. But I gladly welcome critical thoughts and constructive feedback because this is a recurring theme in my life both from an academic and personal standpoint, so, I solicit your conversation.
*This is not bashing black men, nor making a generalization of all black men, nor do I deny that women are not part of the problem. This is me making an observation about the black community which is clearly suffering from the lack of upstanding black men and the increase in incarceration rates for young black males. Trust me, I have a lot to say about some black females...coming soon
And honestly, for the sake of the black community, black women need black men to help define their self-worth.
I will be the first female to admit that this is a man's world and the great decrease of fathers in the home, being real men, is a major factor in a lot of the problems that black Americans face today. Putting aside all the crap about independent women and that there's nothing a man can do for a woman that a woman can't do foer herself--the self-worth of a black woman is always, either directly or indirectly, affected by how valuable she is to the black men in her life. From married women who are treated like queens to married women who are being cheated on or abused, from single ladies looking for the right man to teenage girls looking for a replacement daddy, to video vixens who allow themselves to be degraded to a five-star bitch or a lollipop licker because it also comes with the label sexy, beautiful, and desirable, the black woman is innately affected to some extent by the way that her black men view her.
No doubt that some women who have been so hurt by men that they have resolved to live the life of an "independent woman" feel such strong sentiments due to the fact that they, or female friends and relatives, are suffering the most from a lack of positive black male influence in their lives. I honestly can't think of one sane black woman who could get a man to wine and dine her, take care of her, and treat her like a queen, then turn around and decide, for no apparent reason, that she doesn't want or need him. Not to say that women out there don't exist, but they're crazy! Thus, I think the 'independent woman' ideology stems from a need to compensate for where black males are lacking.
I would even dare say that many black women don't like the idea of black men being with non-black women because it's almost like we've lost whatever it is that makes us special to the black man, or else he's lost whatever it is that makes him realize the unique beauty and richness that a black woman/family has to offer. Then again, maybe that's just me...
This is all coming from a young black woman who has a nuclear-type family household and still believes in chivalry and letting a man be a man, (as long as he's an honest, faithful, good man), and be the head of his household. My problem is that not enough young black men are stepping up to the challenge and willing to take on the hard work and responsibility necessary to run a household, or do not even get the chance due to the system being very set up for the failure of impoverished black boys from an early age. And the most accessible role models for these fellas are rappers who call women bitches and hos and degrade them to sex objects. And EVERYBODY, not just men, not just women, who are responsible.
However, as I am willing to admit that this is truly a man's world and men were created to be providers and protectors and women weren't meant to be without men, I can say that yes, there is a vicious cycle involving gender role expectations, for which both men and women share the blame, but at the end of the day, if all black men would love and respect themselves, black women, and the black community at large enough to do whatever was necessary to make an honest living, keep themselves AND EACH OTHER out of jails and prisons, and only support public figures that create a positive image for non-blacks and send a positive message to black youth, we would be in a much better situation, I'm sure.
I think this post is stamped as having been posted around 1am, but it's actually like 5 am right now, so my thoughts above aren't fully developed, so I prolly made some claims that I didn't really back up...sorry. But I gladly welcome critical thoughts and constructive feedback because this is a recurring theme in my life both from an academic and personal standpoint, so, I solicit your conversation.
*This is not bashing black men, nor making a generalization of all black men, nor do I deny that women are not part of the problem. This is me making an observation about the black community which is clearly suffering from the lack of upstanding black men and the increase in incarceration rates for young black males. Trust me, I have a lot to say about some black females...coming soon
Commencement
So, today's my last day in the US!!! Woohooo the day is finally here (whilst my friends have been abroad for weeks and weeks now). I was reading Wanda's blog from Feb. 10 and started to post this in her comment box:
And apparently theres a large interest in hip-hop in Australia (where negros are about as common as blue bananas) hip-hop is tied to a culture that I feel is a part of the bricolage that is defines my identity as black. Granted, hip-hop won't be exactly the same in Oz, or anywhere else for that matter, as it is in the US, but what defines hip-hop? I think this is one of the things that I plan to explore more deeply.
lol, that would be rude because it had almost nothing to do with her post.
Anyway, I've been thinking lately and something that keeps being revealed to me is that I need to take this time in Oz to build a stronger prayer life. I have a book on prayer, as well as a brand new journal that was given to me. As I have been struggling to discover spiritual truths, prayer is something that I have not really focused on in depth. When I was at Urbana, I really got some insights about prayer, and I need to explore them further, as well as to pray more consciously. I tend to talk to God a lot, but I need to work on the listening part and learning how to be an active participant in making sure that prayers are answered (because God is not synonomous with genie or fairy godmother)
Update: I now have unlocked gsm cell phone and skype. my skype name is aemorrow, hit me up.
Until the touchdown,
Audrey
And apparently theres a large interest in hip-hop in Australia (where negros are about as common as blue bananas) hip-hop is tied to a culture that I feel is a part of the bricolage that is defines my identity as black. Granted, hip-hop won't be exactly the same in Oz, or anywhere else for that matter, as it is in the US, but what defines hip-hop? I think this is one of the things that I plan to explore more deeply.
lol, that would be rude because it had almost nothing to do with her post.
Anyway, I've been thinking lately and something that keeps being revealed to me is that I need to take this time in Oz to build a stronger prayer life. I have a book on prayer, as well as a brand new journal that was given to me. As I have been struggling to discover spiritual truths, prayer is something that I have not really focused on in depth. When I was at Urbana, I really got some insights about prayer, and I need to explore them further, as well as to pray more consciously. I tend to talk to God a lot, but I need to work on the listening part and learning how to be an active participant in making sure that prayers are answered (because God is not synonomous with genie or fairy godmother)
Update: I now have unlocked gsm cell phone and skype. my skype name is aemorrow, hit me up.
Until the touchdown,
Audrey
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